Sometimes life sucks

Dear Mom-Mom,

Four weekends ago we celebrated my birthday. We ate yummy food, talked, and laughed, but you didn't quite seem like yourself. When it came time to say goodbye, I gave you a big hug and smooch and told you I'd see you soon.

Three weekends ago, just one day after my actual birthday, you called Dad and said you didn't feel well. You complained of chest pains and felt scared you were having a heart attack. Test after test came back negative. We thought you were in the clear and were so relieved to hear you'd be coming back home after three nights in the hospital.

But then the doctor decided to do a cat scan at the last minute. And that test finally showed something. Deep down in your lungs there were some spots, and those spots were pneumonia.

We were told not to worry. A few days in the hospital and some antibiotics would clear the pneumonia right up.

A few days passed. On the first Friday you were in the hospital, you were having a harder time breathing. Your doctor asked a very routine, but very scary question: "Do you want to be resuscitated should your heart stop?" Being wise and knowing you'd lived a long and beautiful life already, you said you did not.

But the seed had been planted and you were branded with a fuchsia "DNR" bracelet. You were scared and, convinced you were at the end of your life, you talked about your life with my dad and said your goodbyes.

Now the family was scared, too. We all rallied together. Aunt Karen came from Vanceboro. I came from Asheville. We talked and laughed and probably nearly got kicked out of the cardiovascular wing your room was on (we are, at times, a raucous bunch). By the time I came back to Asheville that Sunday, one week into your hospital stay, I knew you were going to be okay. When we said goodbye and I told you I'd see you in a few weeks, you still said, "I hope I'll be around for you!"

A few more days went by--some good and some bad, but nothing to really worry about. By the next weekend, though, you were really having a hard time breathing and it was decided you should be moved to ICU. As the days went by after that, things did not get much better.

I came home the middle of last week because we were beginning to face the facts: you might not get better. For a few precious minutes, you were awake and alert. We held hands and you looked from me to my cousin and back to me and you smiled. I could barely hold it together, Mom-Mom, but I'm so glad I came home and was able to have that moment with you. From that afternoon on, you were asleep, already on your way to heaven I think.

I quickly came back to Asheville to work for one day, but then came back to see you and to be with family, knowing it probably would not be long until you and Pop-Pop were together again.

You were physically alive when I arrived, but your spirit and mind were not there. You were knocked out on a cocktail of medicines to simply keep you comfortable. There was no physical healing that would come.

You passed away late in the afternoon, around 5:30 p.m. Dawn and Aunt Karen said they saw you smile toward the end. I hope you were seeing Pop-Pop and your family. Did you see Jesus?

We're all doing okay here. We are all still laughing and joking around a lot, but it is not the same without you. I still call the house you lived "Mom-Mom's house" and your room is still your room and your bathroom is still your bathroom. Your seat at the head of the table in the dining room is still yours and I got a little angry at Hanna when her 11-year-old self bounced down to the seat and took it over.

I do wonder what this Thanksgiving and Christmas will be like. Will we all still go to your condo?

One thing I do know: Christmas morning will be lonely and quiet without you. We've spent every Christmas day together since 1998. Mom-Mom, I will miss you so much.

You never were that warm, fuzzy grandma with fresh baked cookies in the kitchen. You were always kind of...arthritic and a bit slow. But you could shop like nobody's business. And you were brave and a fighter. You were always there for your family no matter what. And you could laugh. You could laugh with us and you could laugh at yourself. I love and admire that in you. I think I will miss your laugh the most.

I know that you will always be here with us in a way, like when we watch a movie together as a family or eat a yummy meal or see a butterfly flutter about, and especially any time we laugh.

You are the ultimate Golden Girl, Mom-Mom, and I love you so very much. I will miss you every day, but I know you are happy to be with Pop-Pop. And I especially know he's happy you're with him.

Love you forever,
Your granddaughter, Katie

Fabulous Friday

Oh yes. It's Fabulous Friday. Does Friday ever come as a relief to you? It's like the work week is the balmy, moist heat of summer in the south and Friday is the cool breeze that makes it all okay.

Today is a good day for a few reasons:
1. Pay Day. Need I say more?
2. The start of a fun weekend filled with.......
3. The boy.
4. The best friend visiting from out of town
5. and going to Nona Mia for dinner (with the boy) tonight. Having a meal at this restuarant, whose name translates to "My Grandmother" in Italian, is the ultimate in comfort food. We can't wait.
6. Another reason today is fabulous: I got a package in the mail yesterday from a friend ('twas a belated birthday present) and inside the box was a scarf and pair of earrings. Today I wore both. And then I somehow sipped a little too much coffe from my travel mug and dribbled all over said scarf and I was all bummed until I realized my scarf was navy blue and it didn't show up. Also, it made my scarf smell like coffee, so...win?

Hope your Friday is just as fabulous whether you are having a wild weekend or a quiet weekend at home.

Be well!

Throwback Thursday

Trying a little something new for the ol' blog to help me stay consistent with it: each day will have a theme or a specific title to give me a little blogging direction.

Today is Throwback Thursday where I'll recount a memory or something from my past.

This was right around 11 years ago (whoa...I.am.old.). My best friend and I convinced our parents that we should have a joint 16th birthday party. And, you've probably figured out that the theme was Hawaiian judging by our leis and cheap grass skirts.

This silly picture perfectly illustrates our friendship. We were (and are) nutballs. I showed this picture to Becky recently and said the only thing that had really changed about us was our hair. I now let mine go curly and free and she's cut her hair to a short adorable bob.

We've been through it all together: rough patches at home, boyfriends, breakups, high school at different schools, college at different schools, living our adult lives 4 hours apart. Sometimes weeks go by without us talking or emailing, but it never matters because we are cosmic friends and we were meant to be a support for one another.

Mostly, I think, God brough Becky in my life so we could laugh together. We are the best at laughing, that is for sure.

Okay, one last friend gush and then I'll get ready for work: 27 years and a few days ago I was born and I was named Katie Rebecca. Katie was my great grandmother's name on my dad's side. Luckily they didn't tack on the Thelma (no offense, Gram). Instead, they chose Rebecca. She was Katie Thelma's best friend.

It seems like it was kismet that a little girl named Katie and another little girl named Rebecca (Becky) should meet and become friends in the 6th grade. :)

Yes, I just used an emoticon. Becky makes me emote.

This weekend the plan is for Becky to visit and for us to have a ridiculously fun time together. I cannot wait.

Some bread and an outfit!

Here is a recent outfit of mine I liked:

I found a few cardigans on clearance at Target last week (good thing I haven't officially decided to only purchase clothes at second hand stores yet...). I couldn't pass this one up. It's flowy. It's long. It can be wrapped around you in a more snuggly fashion if you get chilly. It's also an interesting color: gray? olive? brown? No one can really figure it out. I've paired it with a whit tank, my "sailor" pants with the fun buttons, my comfy danskos, and a new gold necklace (also from Target, and also on clearance all because the necklace was tied in a knot!).

Also, please excuse my cluttered room.

Oh! And the bread. Ever heard of Artisan Bread in Five Minutes? I had, but only because that boy of mine has been an eager bread baker for over a year now. He uses their no-knead recipes and makes wonderful, delicious bread. One of my birthday gifts were the supplies I'd need to make loaves of my own. And now I've done it! I've made bread! I was nearly as excited about my loaves as I was about veggies growing in my garden. There's just something so satisfying about producing something that I hardly ever go without. I mean, people make special trips to the grocery store just for bread! And I. Made. It! Anyway, I highly recommend the artisan bread method. It really is very easy. Mix ingredients. Let dough rise. Put dough in refrigerator for up to two weeks. Retrieve dough. Sprinkle with flour. Shape into loaves. Ta-da!

I had some toast from my delicious loaves for breakfast, and it is so, so good. So much better than bread you buy at the grocery store. Patting myself on the back for this one. :)

Now on to tackle my Tuesday. In this order: clothes, coffee, work, cycling class, work/lunch, program, home, dinner, Jane Eyre.

What is your Tuesday looking like?

An outfit

I've been doing some mega shopping recently--and I'm proud to say that I've only been shopping at Goodwill. I'm actually kind of toying with the idea of only purchasing clothes from Goodwill/consigment stores from now on...but I'll wait to say more on that until my thoughts are more developed. Anywho. Shopping. I've found some great pieces that I'm excited to wear and experiment with. I've been trying to be a bit more adventurous in my style and I have a few style blogs that I've stumbled across to thank for that:
What a Nerd Would Wear
Kendi Everyday
Sidewalk Ready
The Daybook

As I've done my shopping, I've tried to be more open-minded and I've tried to have a little more fun with my clothes. In the past I've been a strictly jeans-n-tee/tank kind of girl. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. In fact, somedays you just need your favorite pair of jeans and a tank top. I'm just trying to experiment a little more... Anyway, here are a few things I've bought that I'm enjoying:

Jeans are from Old Navy, top is from a consignment boutique called Reciprocity, belt is from a thrifted skirt (Goodwill), ballet flats were originally from Target, but purchased at Goodwill

 

The pink top is a Goodwill find, as is the red skirt. The black belt is the same as the one pictured above, and the shoes are from Payless. This is me chanelling Joan Holloway. I love this high waisted red skirt. I'm thinking about hemming it a little so I can wear my brown slouchy boots with it.

Last, but not least, floral blouse is from Goodwill (but originally Nine West), black pencil skirt/belt is from Goodwill, and bronze ballet flats are from Goodwill.

Do you enjoy thrift shopping as much as I do??

un recipe

I do love to bake. I'm not particularly skilled at it (as evidenced by the two times I attempted to make scones that ended up only being suitable for the garbage), but I do enjoy it. I dabble, really. Several years ago, when the kitchen was just the place I stored my boxes of cereal (i.e. I.did.not.cook.), I finally decided to try making muffins. And, I'm just going to be honest. These muffins are such an easy recipe, that you really couldn't call it baking. It's a standby favorite of my ma, and while these muffins are an adapted recipe from Weight Watchers, I am not making them because they help me watch my weight (but, you are rockin' that Weight Watchers bod, J. Hud.). No, I make these because they are good and tasty and because they are pumpkin and because it is nearly fall. So without further ado...
Here is what you need:

Just these three ingredients: one spice cake mix, one can of pumpkin puree, and a bag of chocolate chips (I chose semi sweet).

First things first: preheat your oven to 375. Now you're gonna dump the spice cake mix into a bowl. Then you're going to mix the pumpkin puree in with the cake mix. On top of that, pour in half a can of water. After that, mix it up, baby! It's super easy to mix by hand with a large spoon. Check it out:

Here's the cake mix + the can of pumpkin puree + half a can of water

And above is the mixing process! Once it is all mixsed together and there is no sign of the powder cake mix, add in your chips. Now, this is the part that makes these muffins not so Weight Watcher friendly. J. Hud. might not eat them if you add in, say, the whole bag of chocolate chips. However, I will not judge you if you want or need to add the whole bag of chips. No I won't. I added about a cups worth to mine.

After that, get out a muffin/cupcake tin. I opted to use cutesy cupcake liners for mine to make clean-up easier, but that's not necessary. However, if you don't use cupcake liners, I'd recommend spraying your muffin tin or grease each cup with a little bit of butter. You're going to distribute the muffin concoction like so:

I had a little bit of extra batter in my bowl so I topped off each muffin with a little extra and just chucked the rest.

Now bake for 30-45 minutes! These muffins are quite moist and dense, so it's good to check the muffins with a toothpick before you pull them out and turn the oven off for good.

Hope you enjoy your not so Weight Watcher friendly muffins! Wanna know a little secret? You can make devil's food cake muffins the exact same way! Just replace the spice cake mix with devil's food cake mix. I know, I know...devil's food cake and pumpkin puree? It sounds crazy, but it works. Don't forget the half can of water! Eat these plain, or, if you're really devious, add in some peanut butter chips. I dare you.

Nom Nom, says I!

This recipe is Kitty approved.

A few things...

Just because it's Tuesday. Well, now it's technically Wednesday, but no matter:

*My hair is finally getting longer--I can put it up in a bun and everything, but I'm thinking of chopping it all off.
*Tonight I ate 3 pieces of a $5 pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's, and I feel no remorse.
*Possibly the reason I feel no remorse is because I took a cycling class today.
*In said cycling class, I huffed and puffed through an hour of encouragement like this: "Dont.stop.peddling! Keep moving! There's a tornado behind you! I can guarantee you'd keep biking if that were the case. Adrenaline!" Ummm, yeah, right...thank you cycling instructor.
*Some 76 year old woman in the cycling class kicked my ass. She is badass. I want to be her one day.
*Yeah, that's right...a 76 year old woman. And by golly is she buff!
*I have been 27 for four days now. It's suiting me rather well.
*Judging by my bulging closet, it's apparently time for a new wardrobe a la Goodwill. I like buying my clothes from Goodwill. It's far more ethical than spending money on clothes made in China or Indonesia. It's cheaper AND you can often find clothes that have much more character than clothes at the mall.
*But Lord knows if I had an extra $248, I would immediately purchase this coat. Yes, that's right. Immediately.
*I've painted my toes a deep purple/burgundy. It's just my simple attempt to welcome the cooler, more fall-like temperatures.

And that's all for today. Kitty says goodnight.